Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Sometimes I wonder why you think you are such a burden. You gave me life, you put up with my stubborness, and you let me become who I am today. Mistakes were made when I was growing up. What mom doesn't make them? I know, I do but I no longer blame you for those mistakes. Those mistakes shaped who I am today, for good or for bad. I would not trade my childhood, it was mine.

Although I would never want you replaced, I wish I could tell you when I struggle with anxiety without you worrying about how horrible you are for "giving it to me". I wish I could share my fears as a parent without you feeling guilt over a misdeed you felt happened when I was a child. I forgive you Mom. I wish I could tell you how afraid I am when you go into the hospital when you tried to hurt yourself because I am not sure if you will still be my mom when you come out. I wish I didn't dread when I receive phone calls from dad, "Will this be it?".

If I could show you anything and have you understand, I wish you could see your strength through my eyes. How I see you as someone strong enough to deal with pressure unimaginable by most people and still manage to put one foot in front of the other. Even stumbling is a movement forward. Even crawling is progress, I wish you would see how far you have travelled.

I do not wish for a new mom. I do not wish to be sheltered from your troubles. I wish I could share your burden, releave the pressure from you for even a few hours. And I do not want you to stop breathing. Because no matter how old I am, I always need my mom.

Love,
Your Youngest Daughter